New Covers And New News!

Hello, my Pervy Loves! I’ve got great news and I’m making some big changes. First, we’re slowly moving my titles to Nook and iBooks. I’ve started with Hide And Keep, for reasons.  My new titles will still be released on Amazon and through Kindle Unlimited. After the 90 day exclusivity agreement expires, I’ll release each title on Nook and iBooks as well. They won’t be available on KU after that but you’ll still be able to purchase it on all three sites. I’m hoping this will make it easier for readers to find and enjoy my books. I also decided it was time to give the whole series a facelift since we’re about to turn 30.

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Obviously, I’m several years older than 30 and I’ve only been publishing for almost three years. I am about to publish book #30 and it’s going to be very special. Here’s a hint:

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New Covers And New News!

A New Book And A Free Dirty Chapter!

Available on Amazon now!

http://amzn.to/2tvRRYn

* Very Adult Excerpt Ahead. Be At Least 18, A Fan Of Swear Words, Sex & Cows*

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“Are we there yet?” Haiden asked and Cash gave him a flat look.

“You just asked me that two minutes ago,” he said and Haiden held his hands up.

“You said we were just driving to the other end of the property. We’ve been crawling over hills and winding around trees for almost half an hour. I’m starting to feel a little queasy,” he admitted and Cash reached for his thigh and rubbed it.

“I’ve got almost four thousand acres, it’s like fifty miles across as the crow flies so it takes a while. Just a few more minutes. And I’m sorry you have the stomach of an infant,” he teased.

“Have you thought about adding more roads?” Haiden asked and Cash nodded.

“We’re working on a four lane highway, right through the middle,” he said sarcastically as he pointed out the windshield. “We’re here,” he added and Haiden became alert as he sat up.

“Wow.” He waited until Cash stopped to jump out. A large tree created a canopy next to a soft bend in the river and they were surrounded by wildflowers and butterflies. The grass was deep and thick and Haiden quickly kicked off his shoes and gasped as his toes sank into cool, damp, softness.

“Here,” Cash said and Haiden turned and caught a thick plaid blanket. He looked to where Cash pointed then nodded before he headed for the flat spot beneath the tree. He spread the blanket and dropped onto it as Cash reached into the back of the truck. He pulled out a bottle of wine and a rope and Haiden’s brows rose as Cash headed for the river. He tied the rope around the bottle and slowly lowered it into the water. He tossed the rope over a low hanging tree branch and knotted it loosely before he went back to the truck for a basket.

“This is amazing. I think I could live right here,” Haiden said and he looked around as Cash dropped his hat on the blanket then pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it at the truck. He lowered onto the blanket and stretched out next to Haiden.

“Really? Even with the treacherous drive and the motion sickness?” He asked as he folded his arm behind his head then rested his hat on his face. Haiden stuck out his tongue then jumped as a cow wandered into the clearing.

“Cash!” He hissed and Cash pushed the brim of his hat back. Haiden pointed urgently at the cow as it ambled closer. “There’s a cow!” He whispered loudly and Cash chuckled as he let his hat drop.

“I have 2,742, the last time I counted,” he muttered and Haiden watched in stunned awe as the cow slowly lowered next to Cash and its legs folded under it. Cash reached out and patted its side. “It’s a beautiful day for a nap, isn’t it, girl?” The cow made a content snuffling sound as it shut its eyes and Haiden shook his head in disbelief before he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone.

“There’s no signal here either,” he muttered then dropped it on the blanket. “What are we supposed to do?” He asked and he could see Cash’s lips curve under his hat.

“Take a nap, eat, drink wine, fuck, pick flowers… Do whatever you want,” he said and Haiden’s brows rose as he craned his neck and looked around them.

“We can do that here? No one’s going to come looking for her?” He asked as he eyed the cow warily and Cash shook his head.

“They’re all down at the ranch, cleaning the facilities today. The cows and I get the day off,” he said and Haiden bit his lip.

“I didn’t bring anything,” he pouted and Cash’s hand shot out and twisted in the front of Haiden’s shirt before he was pulled on top of him. He gripped Haiden’s thighs as he settled them outside his hips and he was hard as he bucked beneath him lazily. Need and euphoric happiness washed over Haiden as Cash took off his hat and dropped it on his head.

“Everything’s in the basket,” he murmured as he flicked the button at his fly free and Haiden gasped as he fell forward and sucked on Cash’s lip.

“I think I love it here,” he purred as Cash’s large hands slid under his shirt and spread across his back. There was warmth and joy but Haiden reveled in how peaceful and safe he felt as he rocked against Cash, letting their anticipation and desire build. After so many years of fortifying himself and pretending to be stronger than he really was, he could finally just exist and feel. Cash was a large rock in the center of the raging storm. Haiden could take shelter from the chaos of his life and he didn’t have to hide from himself when he was with Cash. Life was simple and clean and Haiden was perfect just the way he was.

Sex stopped being a distraction or a way for him to gain more “street cred” as a celebrity slut. There had been so many men but they were all a muddled blur in the back of Haiden’s brain. Somehow, everything felt new and thrilling each time Haiden kissed Cash and every touch glowed with reverence and discovery. Haiden couldn’t remember the last time sex felt honestly good or real before Cash, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt truly aroused or anticipated someone’s touch. With Cash, his body vibrated with need and exhilaration. He craved his hands, lips, skin, cock… Just all of him, really. And the feelings were more intoxicating than any drug or drink. They were so brilliant and intense, Haiden wouldn’t dream of smoking or snorting anything that might dull or distract him from the giddy flutter in his stomach or the way Cash could cover him in goosebumps with just a brush of his lips against his skin.

“How are you real?” Haiden murmured and he felt Cash’s lips curve beneath his.

“I’m not completely convinced this isn’t a dream,” he said and Haiden groaned as Cash gripped his ass and rocked his hips. He was hard and so large and Haiden shivered as desire and delight skipped down his spine and a gnawing ache flared in his passage.

“Were you serious about fucking out here?” He asked and Cash hummed as he reached into the basket. He searched for a moment and Haiden’s nerves sparked when he produced a bottle of lube and a strip of condoms.

“We’ve got all afternoon, knock yourself out,” he said lazily as he dropped them on his chest and folded his arms behind his head. He shut his eyes and a deep, rumbling, contented sigh spilled from him and Haiden knew he was ruined. No man would ever make him tremble with need or be as captivating as Cash.

“I’m going to need more than an afternoon,” he said as he slid lower and rubbed his lips and face all over Cash’s chest as he unzipped their jeans.

He quickly shimmied out of his then tugged at the waist of Cash’s jeans as he lifted his hips. There was another lazy growl as Cash pushed Haiden’s shirt up his chest then pulled it over his head. His hands gripped and caressed possessively as Haiden licked and panted at the hard ridges and grooves of his pecs and abs as he made his way down Cash’s body. He couldn’t imagine a man being more potent and powerful or more gentle and protective than Cash and he vowed he’d do anything to keep him as he settled on his knees between his thighs. Haiden was demanding and thorough as he licked, sucked and swallowed as much of Cash’s heavy, pulsing length and essence as he could. He waited until Cash’s control vanished and he was lifted and seated, straddling his hips.

“I’ll give you all the time in the world but you need to get on up and ride me now,” he drawled and Haiden’s hands shook as he ripped open a condom.

There wasn’t a man alive who could do that better than Cash. Haiden quickly stretched the condom down his shaft the coated it generously with lube. He rose on his knees and hissed as he pushed his slick fingers into his hole. He fingered himself until the stinging passed and his passage relaxed and tingled hungrily. Cash groaned as his hands washed over his skin, tenderly worshiping him as he chanted his name. Haiden shut his eyes so Cash wouldn’t see them shimmer as awe and joy swelled within him. He positioned the head of Cash’s erection at his entrance then slowly sat, taking him into his tightness as his head fell back.

He opened his eyes and the vivid blue sky peeked through the leaves and he was in heaven. Cash’s hands locked around his hips as he bucked beneath him. Pleasure and heat burst beneath his skin as he took Cash deep and ground hard, striking his prostate as he clenched tight.

“That’s it,” Cash crooned gently as he pulled and pushed Haiden’s hips in time with his thrusts. “Ride my dick and come for me,” he said and Haiden nodded drunkenly as he rocked harder and faster. Cash’s hand tightened around Haiden’s shaft and stroked firmly. His body became tight, hot and frantic as pleasure and pressure bloomed in his ass and groin as his skin glistened with sweat.

“Don’t stop!” He begged as everything became brighter and his body flickered and glowed. He rolled his hips and bounced, thrilling at the euphoric heat and tangling of his nerves as his ass slapped against Cash’s pelvis relentlessly. His prostate throbbed and pressure pushed into the base of his cock as his passage squeezed. “Oh, fuck, that’s it,” he breathed as his body locked and his eyes rolled. Cash sat up and his lips crushed Haiden’s as he pulled him onto his thick, pulsing erection. Haiden screamed against his tongue as his body shattered and Cash’s fingers dug into his back and ass as he came with a loud, primal roar. Their chests heaved as they lapped and sucked at each other’s lips blindly and deliriously before Cash fell back on the blanket. “You mentioned wine and a nap?” Haiden said as he landed on Cash’s chest and it shook as he laughed. His arms tightened around Haiden as they rolled and Cash’s lips tugged at Haiden’s teasingly before he carefully pulled out.

“I never thought I’d see the day,” he said as he pushed off the ground and got to his knees. “I didn’t think you were capable of taking a nap,” he added as he hopped to his feet and reached for the rope. Haiden stretched and let his arms fall on the blanket, over his head and smiled dreamily at the swaying leaves and perfect blue sky above him.

“After that and a few glasses of wine, I doubt I’ll have a choice,” he said as Cash pulled the wine from the water and returned to the blanket.

“We’ll go for a swim once the heat gets to us. It’ll feel like heaven when we get out,” he said as he sat and hunted in the basket. He produced two plastic wine glasses and a bottle opener and Haiden shifted his shoulders and wiggled so he could rest his head on Cash’s thigh.

“This already feels like heaven,” Haiden said and Cash paused and his face became softer.

“It does,” he agreed as his hand cradled Haiden’s cheek. “We used to come here often but I forgot about it as Natalie got older and wanted to spend less time with me. It’s been a long time since I felt this happy,” he whispered and Haiden almost giggled as ecstatic joy swept through him but he caught a flash of grief in Cash’s gaze.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he reached and brushed the hair away from Cash’s eyes. He smiled as he shook his head and it was gone.

“I’m just really happy, Haiden,” he said softly then traced his lips tenderly before he picked up a glass and poured. Haiden wanted to believe him but he could feel the change in Cash. He immediately worried it was Gretchen but he wasn’t sure if he had a right to ask so he nodded and let the matter rest as he took his glass.

“Even power bottoms need power naps now and then,” he said as he raised his glass in salute then sipped.

A New Book And A Free Dirty Chapter!

The Most Vulnerable Child

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My son is 16 today. We’re going to make vanilla cupcakes and sugar cookies and go shopping for Nerf guns and Disney Cars toys.

 

There’s a man in town who breaks my heart every time I see him. He walks everywhere. You see him calamity-ing down the sidewalk, his backpack sliding down his arm as he juggles all the items he’s carrying. His hair is feather fine and greasy. His face is always dirty and his clothes are beyond saving. People avoid eye contact and give him a wide berth because he’s loud and he smells terrible. I can’t help but follow him and talk to him when I cross paths with him at the grocery store because I see my own son every time I look at him.

 

When Alex was younger, let’s say 6 or 7, I thought I had to use every day in April to make every person I knew aware that it was Autism Awareness month. I shared a different statistic or a link to an article or the ASA so they might make a donation. I wrote clever and gently emotional blog posts about the misadventures of parenting an autistic child. My tone was always upbeat and maybe cheekily stoic. If that’s possible. I’ve stopped as Alex has gotten older.

 

If you have a 6 or a 7 year old with Autism, the world has your back and you’re brave. When your child is 16 people get annoyed because he wanders in their path when they’re just trying to grab a few groceries and get out of the store before they see someone they know. People give him looks because he’s carrying a Build-A-Bear or a pillow pet and he does weird things with his hands. If you’re an adult with autism, maybe in your mid thirties, people give you a wide berth because you’re loud, dirty and smell like you walk the length and width of town twice a day.

 

When I talk to people about my writing, I’m often asked how I find the time to write a book almost every month. Don’t get it twisted. It doesn’t happen that often and the other question I hear a lot is “Why?”. But people are mostly (mildly) impressed because I have time for 50,000 or so words a month. It’s not that hard to believe if you take sleep out of the equation. When you have a child with severe autism, sleep stops being your friend and the nights are awful. Writing books in my head about wars and the politics of Pre WWI Europe and Russia was how I kept my brain from spiraling during the quiet hours of the night. I just repurposed that time into physical writing and that’s how we got here.

 

If you have a child with autism you go to assheaded lengths to avoid the quiet moments in your head and you save yourself by laughing as much and as often as you can. If you’re smart. When it’s quiet and there’s nothing to laugh at you ask yourself the hard questions and you worry about things that can only hurt your heart. I worry about what’s going to happen to Alex when I’m not here anymore and how much of a burden he’s going to be on his sisters’ futures. I worry about him being the man no one wants to look at or stand next to in line at the grocery store. I know the life expectancy for a woman who can’t fall asleep without a sleeping pill, a tranquilizer and smoking a few bowls isn’t that generous. I’m going out like Michael Jackson or it’s going to be cancer.

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If I see 60 I’m going to be quite nonplussed. I write like my ass is on fire because my books will exist as long as there’s an internet and my girls and their children might be able to find more clever ways to market them than I can. I write because it might save Alex later. The services for people with autism wanes as they become adults, as does the compassion of those around them.

 

Autism Awareness month isn’t the megaphone for advocating and support that it used to be, for me. Now, it’s a month of reflecting on how much we’ve lost or what we’re never going to get. It’s also prom season and I see all the things Alex isn’t going to do with his peers. He isn’t even in high school. I’ve homeschooled him for the last five years because there aren’t enough resources in the school system and we couldn’t get to the root of what was scaring him bad enough to wet his pants every time I dropped him off. But he’s never going to ask a girl (or boy) to prom, drive a car or graduate from college. Autism Awareness month has become a month of disappointment as I’ve grown to realize that all the awareness, sympathy and empathy is reserved for toddlers and younger children. The awareness and support slows to a trickle and then becomes a negligent drip as autistic children become teenagers and adults. People stop making eye contact and the gentle, patient smiles and nods dry up by the time there’s acne and a few intrepid chin hairs.

 

It’s getting harder to write about Alex because I feel myself becoming more bitter as he gets older. I used to push for some intellectual or emotional growth every day. I wanted him to be better at telling time or tying his shoes because in my head, those were one less thing my girls would have to struggle with, when I’m not there. But the list of things I have to teach him keeps getting bigger and the hours get shorter. How do I teach someone with the intellectual maturity of a 4 year old to shave? How do I make the world easier for a man who will never be older than 6?

 

My little boy is 16 today. Instead of looking forward and wondering where he’ll go to college or when he’ll start his own family, I worry about how much less there is for him in the world as he gets older. I worry about how much taller he is than me and what we’ll do when he realizes he’s already stronger. I pray he’ll get to live with me until I die and he doesn’t have to go to a home or spend his days medicated into passivity.

 

I stopped writing about parenting an autistic child because parents like me don’t need another brave face or to hear an exhausted mom say “Fuck Autism.” in every way she can articulate.  Mostly, I realized I don’t like a lot of the people who blog about parenting. Especially those with disabled children. I can always see their forced smiles and I catch the panic in their eyes, I can hear their internal screaming as they laugh about scrubbing poop off walls and tantrums in Walmart. Stop trying to make it look fun and easy. Stop telling the rest of us that we have to act like this is just fine. Quit lying.

 

As the mother of a 16 year old with autism, I just ask that you be kind. When you see a that man in the store, don’t look away and let him struggle on his own. Know that he’s probably lost his mother and she tried her best to make him as strong as she could but there just wasn’t enough time. Remember that the world got harder and less patient as he got older. People cared less because he wasn’t small and cute and the people he spent his whole life depending on have died or have lives of their own. Autism doesn’t go away as people get older, we just become less aware of them.

 

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The Most Vulnerable Child