Oh, my lovely Perverts…
It started with a tweet. I can’t remember if it was one of mine or if one of my Twitter loves posted it. But it was about firemen and how they’re just generally hot and like to travel in groups around the grocery store because they know it makes us clench things. They do it on purpose. Anyways, I started chatting with one of my favorite Twitterers, we’ll call him Joe, and the conversation evolved into me saying I should find a way to injure myself the next time I run into grocery shopping firemen. Ideally, I’d need some mouth to mouth. Or, if I’m super creative, that hypothermia thing where people need to get naked and share their body heat. I giggled over this for a few days and low and behold, we had a book.
I decided that if I was going to jump back into the hetero pool I was going to have fun with it. So, my heroine had to be a writer and she had to write gay erotica. She also had to have bright pink hair and a lot of tattoos. She swears like a sailor, lives on caffeine and alcohol and can’t walk into a room without injuring herself because that’s what awesome ladies do. And if I was going to get it on with a fireman, he was going to be the finest piece of firefighting ass that ever was.
Why am I still talking, right? You’re probably ready for an uber dirty dirty excerpt. Have I ever let you down?
**WARNING!!! ADULT LANGUAGE AND ADULTS MAKING THE SEX. BE 18 AND OLDER.**
Kate woke with a startled gasp and sat up. Her eyes were wide and dazed as she scanned her room. She didn’t remember going from the couch to her bed. The last thing she remembered was Connor telling her she worried too much. Kate looked down and frowned at her clothes. She was still fully dressed. That’s a good thing, dummy, she insisted as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. There was only a dull ache in the back of her head and she could turn her head and look up and down with just a little stiffness.
It was so worth it, Kate decided as she recalled how amazing Connor’s hands had felt. A shiver spilled down her spine and Kate pulled in her lips to trap a soft moan as her mind placed his hands in a lot of places that weren’t her shoulders. She pulled her t-shirt over her head and tossed it in the hamper and switched her jeans for leggings then shrugged on Jack’s robe. Kate shuffled into the living room and then the kitchen. She grabbed her phone and turned on the espresso maker before setting her phone in the speaker dock. As soon as Rocket started, Kate went to the bottom of the stairs.
“Mabel? Are you up, baby?” She called and waited for the thump and heavy steps.
“I’m up,” Mabel complained and Kate smiled.
“Want some coffee?” She asked and Mabel nodded drowsily before she turned toward the bathroom.
They managed to get Mabel off to school, on time and without drama. Once home, Kate went straight for her shower, hoping the hot water would keep any soreness from creeping back into her neck and shoulders. Every now and then, she would shake her head in disbelief. All of that actually happened. An unbelievably gorgeous man helped with your groceries, did Mabel’s math homework with her, did the dishes and gave you the most divine massage… She couldn’t get her mind around it as she lathered her hair. Why didn’t you kiss him? You were literally living your wildest fantasy and you didn’t climb him like a tree? Kate scolded as she rinsed. She reminded herself that Mabel was present or upstairs most of the time and the only reason Connor was there was because he felt sorry for her. Sad, lonely, single mom gets knocked out in the middle of a grocery store. Who wouldn’t feel sorry for her? Kate laughed. She’d volunteer if she had the chance to do it all over again. He did flirt a lot. She bit her lip as she rubbed body wash over her arms and breasts then shrugged. She wasn’t foolish enough to read too much into it. She flirted with George, it didn’t mean anything.
Kate finished her shower and put all thoughts of Connor aside as she dried off, dressed and put on a quick layer of makeup. She’d check her email and social media, pay a few bills and catch up on news. By then her hair would be dry and she’d get dressed and run a few errands before picking up Mabel.
It took four attempts to read an email for Kate to realize her brain wasn’t going to be available for anything productive. She sighed as she set the laptop away from her and pulled her knees to her chest. She reached for her coffee mug and frowned at the table. There was no mug, she was utterly useless. Kate’s eyes glazed and she saw Connor wink at her as he dropped her keys in her hand. She could have kissed him then.
The doorbell rang and Kate jumped. Her head slowly turned toward the door and for a moment, she couldn’t move. It’s not him, she thought and considered letting whoever it was think she wasn’t home. A cheerful knock brought her to her feet and she scurried across the room and pressed her face to the door and peeked out of the hole. Kate gasped then clapped her hand over her mouth. It was him. She looked again to make sure. Her heart raced as she watched Connor leaning, his hand braced against the doorframe. He was wearing a soft green zip-front hoodie and a grey t-shirt with a faded logo of some sort and jeans. Kate looked down at her own ensemble and swore. She was wearing a huge Hogwarts t-shirt and leggings. Sans bra and the collar was cut way too wide and was deemed only acceptable to wear around the house. She hopped nervously on her toes. Part of her wanted to preserve what little dignity she had left and let him think she wasn’t home. The part of her that wanted a chance to accidentally brush against him, discreetly touch his hard, hot body and sniff him in not creepy ways unlocked the door and pulled it open just enough to peek around it. Connor’s grin made the room ten degrees hotter.
“Good morning, beautiful!” He said as he leaned forward. Kate skipped back as he stepped over the threshold. She folded her arms over her chest to hide her lack of bra and she stared and waited for her brain to catch up. Connor waved a bag in front of him and Kate’s eyes followed it. “I would have brought coffee but I noticed the six cans of espresso yesterday. I had no clue what you’d want so I grabbed scones,” he said and Kate nodded slowly. His eyes swept over her quickly and he looked concerned. “Are you feeling alright?” He asked and Kate woke up.
“Yes! I’m fine. I had a bit of a headache but a few Tylenol took care of it,” she said and Connor looked relieved. She offered him a sheepish grin and took a few steps back. “Could you give me just a minute? I need to throw on something a little more presentable,” Kate said as she turned and Connor grabbed her arm.
“Please, don’t on my account. I think you look perfect,” he said and Kate looked at him as if his nose was upside down and shook her head slowly.
“I should at least change this shirt. It kind of fails. As a shirt,” she explained and Connor’s lips curved wickedly as he stepped closer. He gently pulled her arms away from her chest and Kate felt heat creeping into her cheeks as his head tilted.
“Keep it on, I’m a big fan,” he murmured as he plucked one of the drooping sides and set it on her shoulder. His fingers brushed her skin and she swayed toward him.
“Ok,” she breathed as she licked her lips and Connor’s eyes followed her tongue. He leaned closer and Kate’s eyes started to lower when he shook his head rapidly and stepped back.
“Have you had your coffee already?” He asked as he went into the kitchen and Kate frowned as she went after him.
“I did but I was about to make another,” she mumbled and his smile was wide as he opened a cabinet and looked over his shoulder.
“Great! These are still warm. I didn’t know which you’d like, so I got one of each,” he said as he pulled a plate from the shelf. Kate shrugged as she reached for the ground espresso and turned the machine on.
“Do I look like I’m picky? If it’s made with flour, sugar and butter, I’ll put it in my mouth,” she said and froze as heat pressed against her back and a hand closed over her hip.
“Hush. I said you look perfect.” Connor’s breath was damp and minty against her cheek and Kate grabbed the espresso maker, as if it could support her if her legs gave out.
“What would you like?” Her voice was thin and weak as she turned her head. Their lips were so close, she could feel his breath against hers.
“Whatever you’re having is fine,” he whispered and Kate wasn’t sure what they were talking about. Her hand slid and she pulled it back just as it brushed against the scalding hot frothing wand.
“Right. Coffee,” she said a bit too loudly and there was a soft chuckle as Connor stepped back.
“Do you need milk?” He asked and Kate nodded as she poured water in the back of the machine. She stared at the ground espresso, trying to remember what came next.
For fuck’s sake! You’ve done this a thousand times. Focus, she scolded.
Kate managed to make two mugs of her usual. She handed Connor his and slid the sugar bowl between them. She added two spoons to hers and watched as he did the same. She took a long sip and waited as he stirred then raised his cup. He took a careful drink and his head pulled back as his eyes flared.
“Wow. That’s really good but really strong,” he said and Kate shrugged. “You drink more than one of these a day?” He asked and she shrugged again.
“Two, sometimes three,” she said and he raised a brow.
“That can’t be good for your blood pressure,” he warned and Kate waved dismissively.
“It hasn’t killed me yet,” she said as she gestured for him to head for the table. He quickly added two more spoons of sugar then stepped around the counter. Kate followed and bit her lip to keep from protesting when he walked past the table and around the couch. He set the scones on the coffee table and sat.
“Are you coming?” He asked and Kate’s lips pulled tight as her eyes flicked toward the table. Having something solid between them would have been helpful. He was still flirting and she was still acting like her head was broken. She swore under her breath as she sank onto the couch and he pretended he hadn’t heard as he turned toward her. Kate took several sips of her coffee and hugged her cup.
“So… You were just in the neighborhood?” She asked as her eyes darted around the room nervously. It was one thing to regret not kissing him when she had the chance, now that he was so close and looking at her like he wanted her to do it… At least she thought he might want her to do it. Connor shook his head and Kate’s stomach dropped. He doesn’t?
“No. I live across town. I wanted to see you,” he said and Kate nodded.
“Right. You wanted to make sure I was recovering well,” she offered and Connor shook his head again.
“I was pretty sure you were going to be fine last night,” he said and Kate’s brows pulled together as she studied her coffee. Connor’s finger pressed against the underside of her chin, forcing her eyes up. “I’m off today and tomorrow and I wanted to spend more time with you. Let me take you out to dinner tonight,” he said softly and the only thing that worked was Kate’s eyelids. They blinked several times as her brain failed. Connor’s thumb slid across her lips and they parted. “Can you find someone to watch Mabel?” He asked and Kate nodded. “Great. I want to keep you out really late,” he said softly and Kate nodded again. Wait. She frowned and shook her head.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” she mumbled and Connor sighed heavily as he set his coffee on the table.
“Why?” He asked as he took her cup and set it next to his. Kate would have scooted back but his arm slid around her waist.
“I told you,” she said as she leaned back and Connor followed. She set her hands against his chest and for some reason, she didn’t have the strength to push him away. Her fingers pressed and he felt impossibly solid beneath his clothes and Kate’s heart raced. She licked her lips and Connor growled softly as his head tilted toward hers. “I’m in a very different place. You’d be better off with someone with a lot less baggage,” she said breathlessly as Connor’s forehead rested against hers.
“Do you want to spend time with me?” He asked and Kate nodded. It was all she was good for at the moment. “Do you want to go to dinner with me tonight?” She nodded again.
“Are you always this pushy?” She asked and Connor laughed.
“Never. Just with you. I think it’s because you’re so stubborn and won’t let anyone do anything for you,” he admitted and Kate had nothing to say to that as Connor’s hand slid around her jaw. “You have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you yesterday,” he murmured as his lips brushed against hers.
“Why didn’t you?”
“I try not to take advantage of women with head injuries, as a rule,” he whispered and Kate hummed in agreement.
“My head is fine now. Mostly,” Kate mumbled and she felt his lips curve.
“I’m so glad,” he said. “That’s why I’m going to kiss you and you’re going to let me take you out tonight,” Connor stated before his tongue swept along her lower lip. Heat radiated from Kate’s lip and spread though her body as Connor groaned. His tongue traced her upper lip and the heat settled between Kate’s thighs and she gasped. “Jesus. Is that birthday cake?” He asked hoarsely and it took Kate a moment. She nodded and Connor’s mouth crashed into hers as he eased her onto her back.
Kate’s arms wrapped around his neck and her hands fisted in his hair as his tongue swept between her lips and thrust against hers. Her pulse throbbed deep in her core and Kate clamped her thighs together as slick heat seeped into her panties. Connor angled his head and the kiss became urgent and Kate moaned as the hand around her waist slid to her stomach. She felt the rough heat of his hand against her skin and her leg wrapped around his hip without any conscious direction. Kate’s nerves fizzed anxiously as she waited for his hand to move higher. But it didn’t. She opened her eyes and he was watching her. Waiting for permission. There was another burst of heat within Kate and between her legs and she nodded frantically as she pulled his lips hard against hers. A deep rumble poured from his throat as his hand cruised over her ribs and covered Kate’s breast. A current of electricity traveled from her breast to her pussy and her hips bucked off the couch.
Connor’s body was hard but it was nothing compared to the thick, heavy heat of his erection as Kate writhed under him. He grunted and rolled his hips as the coarse pad of his thumb brushed across her nipple. It tightened and the pleasure was almost painful as it streaked through Kate. She whimpered into Connor’s mouth as her leg locked around him, pulling him closer.
“Christ, Kate!” He gasped as he raised his head. She tilted her head back, hoping he’d take the hint as her hands tightened around his skull. Connor groaned as he dropped his head and Kate hissed as his tongue slid, hot and wet over her collar bone. She felt a tug at the front of her shirt and his breath was ragged when the collar slipped beneath her breast. “So beautiful,” he murmured as his lips swirled around the puckered edge of her nipple and Kate arched as she panted his name. His tongue flicked the pebbled peak and Kate sobbed as she undulated beneath Connor, pressing herself against his hard-on. She was close and it was real this time, she had to make it happen. “Ssshhh…” He crooned as his hand glided down her stomach. “Slow down, I’m not going anywhere,” Connor promised as his fingers dipped beneath the waist of her pants and pushed lower. Kate tensed and her hands locked around his wrist, halting him. Connor’s eyes were heavy and dark as they met hers and Kate winced.
“I…um…wasn’t expecting company,” she explained and she could feel her face getting hot. “I don’t really go through a lot of trouble if it’s just me poking around down there,” Kate explained and Connor’s eyes flashed.
“Do you do a lot of poking, down there?” His voice was gravelly and made the muscles between her thighs clench. Kate would have shrugged nonchalantly but his hand pushed and slid over her mound. She hung on to his wrist but more for support and nodded drunkenly.
“Sometimes I get carried away with my research and I have needs,” she slurred as his hand cupped her. Connor nodded and the coarse hair of his beard grazed her nipple, causing Kate to gasp.
“I know what you need, Kate,” he growled as his hand slid up. His fingers raked through the shortly trimmed hairs covering her mound. “You’re perfect,” he murmured. “I don’t like when women go too far, it’s unnatural,” Connor whispered as his hand slid back down. This time, his fingers parted her and there was a strangled growl. “You’re so wet and so close,” he said and Kate could barely manage a nod as one of his fingers dipped into her core and he hissed as he pressed deep. “So tight…”
Kate was done listening. She tangled her fingers in Connor’s hair and clutched him closer, urging him to lick, nibble or suck. Anything as long as her nipple was in his mouth. He hummed happily as his lips locked around her and sucked hard as another finger entered her. She couldn’t stop her hips from twitching, she needed more friction. Connor chuckled hoarsely as he grabbed a handful of her shirt, bearing her other breast. His fingers stroked deep, stretching Kate as they glided in and out. His tongue flicked firmly against her nipple as he ground his palm against her clit. Her leg fell from around him as she tried to open herself more while riding his hand and Connor groaned in approval as his teeth closed around the tight peak. Kate’s head thrashed on the couch and her eyes rolled as her nerves twisted and her body trembled. Connor’s fingers reached deep and curled upward. Pleasure and heat throbbed and swelled as he rubbed firmly and Kate was done.
“Oh, fuck…” She whispered desperately as she clawed at his shoulders and arms. “Connor!” She couldn’t manage more than a breath. Years of silently coming behind locked doors, alone while Mabel was sleeping were hard to break. Kate clenched her jaw as her head snapped back and her eyes were dazed and blind as she shattered. Electric heat burst in her veins and the muscles gripping Connor’s fingers clenched tight as she struggled to breathe. His hand slowed and his strokes became soothing until her body stopped spasming. Kate sighed drowsily as he pulled his hand from her pants.
“So perfect,” Connor repeated softly as he raised his fingers to his lips. Kate moaned and her leg slid back around his hip as she watched him lick them clean and he groaned in delight. “You’re so sweet, Kate,” he murmured as his lips lowered to hers. Kate lapped at his lips and she could taste her essence on them.
“What about you?” She asked as her fingers dragged along his beard and Connor shook his head.
“I wanted to do something for you,” he said and Kate frowned. Connor kissed the corner of her lips, repeatedly, until she smiled. “Next time I want to see and taste you,” he warned and Kate licked her lips.
“I think you already did,” she teased and he grinned.
“I want so much more,” he said as he leaned back and Kate missed the warmth of his body covering hers. “I’m going to go. I want you to let me know when you work things out with Mabel’s sitter so I can make reservations.” Connor grimaced as he adjusted the front of his pants. Kate pulled her shirt in place as she sat up.
“What about the coffee and the scones?” She asked and Connor shook his head again.
“Sorry about that,” he said and offered Kate a wicked grin. “I’m really enjoying the way my mouth tastes right now, I think I’ll hang on to that for a while.” He jumped to his feet and Kate tried not to blush. “I’m going to see if I can get my hair cut and beard trimmed and possibly scare up something decent to wear at the mall,” Connor said as he went for the door and Kate grabbed his arm.
“Are you getting something really dressy?” She asked and he laughed as he pulled her close and kissed her forehead.
“At least a shirt and a tie, everything I have is pretty basic and you’re not very basic,” he said and Kate grabbed the front of his hoodie and shook her head.
“I don’t need all of that!” She insisted. “Couldn’t we just go for pizza and a beer? Oh! Tacos! You love tacos, right?” Kate asked and Connor took her chin and pecked at her lips.
“No. I’m not taking you to the kind of place you’ve taken Mabel to a hundred times. This is going to be someplace quiet with a wine list and no kids’ menu,” he said and Kate’s lip pushed out. He bit it softly. “You deserve something special, Kate.” She groaned.
“But I like pizza and tacos and beer,” she complained and Connor nodded.
“I do too but tonight, we’re doing something different. Stop whining, shave and pluck or whatever it is you’re trying to avoid and wear some shoes that will make you miserable,” he said and Kate slouched. He raised a brow at her and pointed. “Don’t do that while we’re out.” With that he pulled the door open and rushed out. Kate scowled at the door as it shut.
“Don’t do that while we’re out,” she mimicked as she kicked the door.
I’m so proud of this book. It’s funny, sweet and rather witty. There’s also lots of sex (duh) involving toys, butt stuff, Wu-Tang Clan, pot, masturbation and a shit ton of cunnilingus… I went Latin on you, right there. I can do it all! Basically, it’s super romantic and classy. You should read it.
Just click this link: