Alfie Goes To Church And Gets F*ckedt.

Happy Hump Day, my lovely Perverts!

You guys loved Alfie and Church! Or maybe it was Tom of Finland. I don’t know but I enjoyed seeing you all on my blog. The book’s flying along though and I’m not in the mood to do real work so I thought I’d tease you with more of Alfie and Church. I might call this Saving Alfie Stanford. There’s a fairytale theme and fear of a robot attack and Church is a war hero… We’ll see what Roshni thinks. Meanwhile, here’s a very long and very dirty (barely edited) excerpt from the first time Church bangs Alfie. It’s sweet:

(I don’t know who these men are but we’re pretending they’re Church and Alfie)

“It’s just a weekend,” Church muttered as he leaned and rested his hands on the counter. He glanced at the window but he saw Alfie’s face. Alfie said he could still come to the house but he become tense every time one of the girls mentioned Chris’ parents. Church didn’t want to distract Alfie or make him uncomfortable around his family so he decided to stay away. “I can still message him and see how he’s doing,” Church decided then frowned as Alfie waved at him.

“Are you going to make me ring the doorbell?” He asked and Church swore then hurried around the counter. He jogged through the living room and laughed as he pulled the door open.

“I thought I was seeing things,” he said as he grabbed Alfie’s wrist and yanked him into the house. He stepped past him and searched the patio and the driveway but there was no sign of the kids. It was just Alfie and his backpack. “Where’s the rest of it?” Church asked.

“It’s just me,” Alfie said as he pulled Church through the door and shut it behind him. “They kicked me out and said I can’t come back until Sunday evening,” he explained and a wild rush of happiness filled Church at the thought of Alfie having a weekend to relax and think about himself. He wanted to race across town and hug Jim and Nancy Lester.

“That’s wonderful! You have to stay here and you can do anything you want!” He said as he towed Alfie toward the couch. “Let’s figure out what we’re doing and I’ll get ready,” Church added and Alfie tugged as he stopped.

“Wait! I need to ask you a favor,” he said as he swung his backpack around and hugged it against his chest. His eyes were large and urgent as they captured Church’s.

“Of course, whatever you want,” he said and Alfie exhaled loudly as he nodded.

“I’d really like it if…” He clenched his jaw and it twitched as his cheeks turned pink. “Do you think…” Alfie’s lips tightened as his eyes flared. “I can’t be subtle right now. I have fifty hours,” he said and Church’s brows rose as he waited and Alfie’s knuckles turned white as he hung onto his backpack. “I need you to fuck me. I need you to fuck me really, really hard and really, really a lot. I have fifty hours and I need as much of that to be you fucking me as you can manage,” he said quickly as he advanced and Church flinched in shock as he took a step back.

“I mean, we could try…”

“No!” Alfie protested then bit his lip hard and winced. “Do you want to fuck me, Church?” He asked and Church nodded jerkily.

“You have no idea but I don’t want us to do something we’ll regret,” he said and Alfie held his hand up.

“Stop. This is the first hour I’ve had for myself in over a year and I only have forty nine more after this. I don’t want to hear about your age or my amazing future for the next fifty hours because I don’t know when I’ll get another opportunity like this,” he said then jerked the zipper and opened his backpack as he aimed it at Church. There were several boxes of condoms and packets of lube. Church’s nerve’s flared as heat washed over him and his cock throbbed as it swelled. His lips made the shapes of several different words as he squeaked then grunted as his ass bumped against the back of the couch. Alfie licked his lips anxiously and his eyes were seeking and determined as he stepped closer. “I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met and you’re incredible in about a million different ways. And I’ll never be able to express how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for us. But I’d really appreciate it if you’d just let me worship your body and abuse myself with it for the weekend,” he pleaded and Church groaned as he gathered Alfie’s face in his hands and kissed him. Just give him whatever he wants, Church decided.

“Can I still make it romantic and special?” He asked and Alfie snorted.

“You can try but I’m going to do everything I can to make this as shameful and traumatic as possible,” he warned and Church chuckled as leaned back.

“We’ll see,” he said then carefully plucked a box of condoms from the backpack. “I’m not going to bring up my age but since I am almost fifty, this will probably be enough to get us through the evening.” He grabbed the backpack and zipped it closed and Alfie was about to argue when Church tossed it at a chair. “I have lube in the bedroom,” he said and Alfie’s eyes lit up as he dove at him.

“You probably won’t even have to do anything,” he said as his arms wound around Church’s neck. “I’m thisclose to losing my mind,” he confided. Church was obviously in love with Alfie and ached for something real and intense with him but 22-30 year olds were Church’s wheelhouse. He certainly didn’t prefer them and he’d never considered dating someone that young but he rarely said no if the opportunity presented itself. Which it often did the moment he opened Tinder or Grindr and it was rare for him to walk out of a sports bar without a number. Church might be ashamed if he counted how many guys he picked up at the gym. Alfie was different but Church was going to fuck several of his vertebrae loose and possibly cause him to go blind. He was hoping to do so tenderly and affectionately but he wasn’t going to disappoint Alfie. Church snorted dismissively and his hand tangled in his hair as the other curved around his ass.

“You’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to lay there and let you do all the work,” he said as he pulled Alfie’s lips to his. He was starving as he attacked Church’s lips and tongue and growled as his fingers clawed at his back and fought with his shirt. Alfie began to shake as he became impatient. “Calm down,” Church laughed as he leaned back and pulled his shirt over his head. Alfie’s eyes widened as he stumbled back a step. He raised his hand and pointed and a loud laugh burst from his throat.

“Are you kidding me?” He complained and Church’s stomach clenched as he looked down at himself.

“Is something wrong? I just…”

“People don’t look like that! How do you look like that?” Alfie asked loudly and Church ducked his head and scratched at the back of his neck as he waited for his face to stop feeling hot.

“I have a lot of time and I’m used to getting up early then running and exercising until I puke,” he mumbled and Alfie shook his head in awe as his fingers trailed down Church’s stomach, catching on the grooves.

“I don’t know what you see in me but I’m going to enjoy every single minute of this,” he said and Church whispered his name as he cradled his cheek.

“You’re brilliant and you’re one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen,” he said gently and Alfie’s eyes flicked upwards before he shrugged.

“Awesome but probably not true. You can save all of that for later, though,” he said then pressed a quick kiss to Church’s lips before he pushed his track pants down, over his ass. Church grabbed the back of the couch and braced himself as Alfie’s eyes dropped. Another ragged laugh slipped from him before slid down Church’s body and sank to his knees. “Fuck, I’ve missed the smell and taste of men so much!” He sobbed as he pressed his face into the front of Church’s boxer briefs and inhaled. “God, you’re so good!” It was muffled and euphoric as his fingers dug into Church’s ass cheeks.

“Wow… Alfie…” Church said as he tapped at his head and shoulders. “I know this is really exciting for you but wouldn’t you rather…”

“This is the greatest moment of my life,” Alfie declared with his nose and mouth smashed against Church’s groin. Church pulled in his lips and prayed at the ceiling as he fought back a laugh.

“I’m really happy for you but wouldn’t it be better in the bedroom?” He suggested. Alfie shook his head and Church silently swore as his face ground against his hard-on. Alfie’s fingers curved around the elastic at Church’s waist and it caught on his teeth and dragged his lip as he pulled his briefs down his thighs.

“Just let me have this. You’re all the filthy wishes I’ve ever had rolled into one,” he panted as his lips washed over Church’s length adoringly. “I think I paid for this with every miserable moment of my life,” he added and his eyes were drunk with lust and hunger as his tongue pressed against the base then slowly lapped at his shaft. Alfie moaned in delight as he licked greedily and Church was mesmerized. This was his fetish. For the rest of his life, nothing would turn Church on more than the sight of Alfie, on his knees and worshipping his cock with absolute abandon. Wild dogs could have ripped at his clothes and limbs but Church had a feeling Alfie wouldn’t let go. Or even notice.

“Oh, Christ!” Church yelped as Alfie’s lips locked around the head and slid down his erection. He took him deep in his throat and Alfie’s eyelids fluttered deliriously as his head pulled back. There was a thin, bright sting as pre-cum pushed up the length of Church’s cock and Alfie hummed encouragingly as his tongue teased the slit.

“You taste amazing,” he said as his head fell to the side. He sucked and licked his way down Church’s cock then made a rapturous sound as his tongue lashed at his sack.

“That’s amazing,” Church sighed as he rose on his toes. Alfie was so thorough, Church hung on to the back of the couch and his eyes floated to the ceiling. Maybe there is a God… Alfie’s tongue was not meant for mortal men as it flicked and lapped. He gave Church a moment to catch his breath as he rose on his knees and unzipped his jeans then wrapped his lips around his shaft again. His head bounced slowly as Alfie gradually took more and more of Church’s length. He gagged softly then backed off for a moment before opening his jaw wider and swallowing as much of Church as he could. There was another faint gag and Church’s brows jumped as the head of his erection nudged the back of his throat. Alfie sucked loudly as he raised his head then licked his swollen lips as he panted up at Church. His chin glistened with saliva and his cheeks were streaked with tears.

“Do you want to grab my ears and just go for it?” He suggested excitedly and Church laughed as he hauled Alfie to his feet.

“No. Time to go,” he announced as he guided Alfie around the couch. He pulled his lips to his and kissed him as he untucked his shirt.

“Are you sure? I think I can do it,” he argued and Church shushed him as he pushed his shirt up his chest.

“That’s not very special or romantic,” he scolded teasingly and Alfie snorted as Church pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it in the hall.

“It would have been pretty special for me,” he murmured and Church swallowed a groan as his eyes slid down Alfie’s body. He caught a flash of Alfie’s chest when he answered the door in a panic, that first day. It was brief and Church fought to keep his eyes on Alfie’s, all he remembered was that he was half naked. Alfie was tall and lean but beneath his clothes, he was a touch too lean. His wide shoulders were sharp and his ribs a little too pronounced. He had the build of a marathon runner but Church’s soul ached, knowing it was due him constantly running on empty. But he was still beautiful and Church hurt, he was so turned on.

“If we’re not having sex or sleeping, you’re eating,” he stipulated as he pointed at Alfie’s nose and backed him into the bedroom. “I should keep you here until you’ve gained at least five pounds,” he added and Alfie cringed as he looked down at himself.

“I’ve always been skinny but I guess I’m kind of scrawny at the moment,” he said and Church shook his head as he grabbed his phone off the dresser then quickly synced it with the stereo. There was a bit of distance between him and his neighbors but there was a chance a jogger or golf cart might travel along the path behind his yard and he had a feeling Alfie might get loud. He reached for Alfie’s face as he pulled him against him then danced them toward the bed.

“If you were a runner or this was your idea of your best self, I wouldn’t care,” he said then halted Alfie so he could push his jeans and boxers down his thighs. Alfie stretched and pecked at his lips before he toed off his shoes then kicked his jeans away. Church growled softly as his lips skated along Alfie’s jaw and found his earlobe as his hand curved around Alfie’s ass. “But it’s all the meals you never let yourself eat and the way you don’t stop until you fall on the couch or into bed and pass out,” he explained then gasped as Alfie hooked his arm around his neck and pressed himself against Church. “Fuck, that’s so good,” he said then shivered as his tongue traced Alfie’s ear. “You’re perfect and I’m absolutely helpless, I just want to you to take better care of yourself and be healthy.”

“I will,” Alfie said dismissively then looked at the stereo. “Really?” He asked and Church shrugged. He assumed most people thought about sex when they heard Amy Winehouse.  Especially Valerie.

“It’s the hottest thing I could think of,” he murmured then hissed as Alfie’s hand wrapped around his cock and stroked.

“Do you want to get married?” He asked playfully and Church nodded.

“Probably,” he rasped as he grabbed his wrist. “You need to slow down or we’re going to be done a lot sooner than you’re expecting.” He backed Alfie onto the bed then crawled over him. “I don’t want to disappoint you,” he whispered as he nibbled on Alfie’s lips and he felt them curve.

“I’ve thought about this a lot and I’m definitely not feeling disappointed,” he said then moaned raggedly as Church moved lower and licked his collarbone. His hand gripped and kneaded at Alfie’s back and thigh as his lips traced the hard grooves and ridges of his abs. He vibrated with need and anxious energy beneath Church’s lips and his skin burned as goosebumps spread across his stomach. His cock was hard and hot and pressed against Church’s chest as he circled Alfie’s navel with his tongue. He wrapped his hand around his shaft then looked up as Alfie whimpered then arched and twisted beneath him. His eyes rolled as his body jumped and Church stared in shock and quite a bit of admiration as cum burst from the head in thick ribbons, splashing onto Alfie’s stomach and shoulder as he shivered and twitched. There was so much, Church was both impressed and slightly concerned.

“Are you ok?” Church asked as he looked up at Alfie and he laughed shakily.

“If you could pretend that didn’t happen and just continue, I’d appreciate it. I’ve thought about that, specifically, a lot and I haven’t had time to do very much with it,” he explained and Church shook his head as he lowered his shoulders.

“This is my favorite part and I don’t have to wait until the end, it’s kind of perfect, Alfie,” he decided then sucked up a small puddle. He was sweet with just a slightly bitter aftertaste and Church growled greedily as his tongue washed over Alfie’s skin, collecting every drop until he was clean.

“Good. I definitely did that on purpose then,” Alfie said as his fingers swept through Church’s hair. A long, low groan rolled from Alfie as Church lapped at the head then slowly took him deep in his throat and sucked. He was still hard and purred as his legs wrapped around Church’s neck and shoulders and he undulated on the bed rapturously. “Chuuuuurch… That’s so…” He sighed then giggled as Church’s tongue swirled around the end of his cock. “I didn’t think I’d see another blow-job until Jeffie went away to college and I could start dating again,” he babbled and Church’s brows pulled together but he was too busy to talk as his head tilted and he licked his way down Alfie’s length. He was going to wait for another sixteen years? Jesus, I’m glad his van broke down. He lapped at his sack and Alfie sounded distraught as he pushed the condoms at Church. He shook his head gently, tugging at Alfie’s balls. Alfie swore as his hand twisted in the comforter then swore even louder when Church spread his thighs wider and settled between them. He used his thumbs to part him then pushed his face into the cleft. “Yes!” Alfie gasped as he clawed at Church’s head franticly. Church hummed ecstatically as he ground his tongue against his hole then sucked.

Oh, he was so perfect. Church’s eyes rolled blissfully as hunger and heat roared through him. He lapped wildly, desperate for the bright taste of Alfie as he sobbed and begged his name. He drilled and probed with his tongue and Alfie’s puckered hole flinched and contracted as he massaged it with his thumb. He pressed past the tight ring and Alfie’s back bowed off the bed. Fuck, he’s really tight. Church slowly worked two fingers in and out, fingering him until he relaxed then reached deep and found his prostate. Alfie proposed again and Church promised to think about it. He was so tight and hot, neither of them were capable of making decisions. He stroked Alfie’s prostate until his jaw stretched and his head rolled back and Church stared adoringly as pre-cum drooled from his erection. He eased his fingers out of Alfie then reached for the bedside table and quickly found the lube. Alfie’s arms stretched above his head and sex had never felt as good or right for Church as it did as he watched him sigh dreamily. He was so lost in the moment and uninhibited, so genuinely happy and present, it was enthralling and made everything that happened before Alfie seem cold and joyless. He didn’t care about his ego or Church’s ego or what any of it meant. There were no mind games, he was completely committed to enjoying every moment and sharing as much pleasure as possible. Church was more aroused than he’d ever been in his life, his hands shook as he ripped open the condom and stretched it over his cock. He coated it with lube then set the head at Alfie’s entrance and held his breath as he slowly pushed forward.


Sorry. You’ll have to wait for the rest. But they’re coming soon. I have other gorgeous men to keep you company while we wait.

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Amazon link:

Alfie Goes To Church And Gets F*ckedt.

Tom Of Finland And Finally Motorcycle Sex!

Hellooooo, my Pervy Readers!

It’s been a while so I thought it was time to check on Alfie and Church. Here’s a refresher and my inspiration pics:

(Reminder: I don’t know these men but they look like Alfie and Church)

Alfie: 29 and raising his orphaned step-siblings.

Church: Just shy of 50 and a veteran. His family was Amish but he left when he was 17.

They’re amazing together but it’s hard for them to find a moment alone. Alfie gets a weekend to himself and they finally go on a date. Alfie’s got a lot of pent-up sexual frustration because he’s been a single mom to four kids below the age of six for over a year and Church is really sympathetic. I’d also like to point out that this is my first sex on a motorcycle scene and I’m sorry we’re just now doing this. Here’s your dirty, barely edited and early excerpt:


**WARNING! Adult language and graphic sexual content. Please be an adult.**

“You’re an asshole, Church,” Alfie complained as they waited for the garage door to rise.

“You’ve said that several times,” he pointed out as he pulled forward and Alfie glared at him.

“You didn’t have to lick your spoon like that,” he muttered and Church grinned as he shut off the truck and pressed the button for the garage door.

“That crème anglaise was divine,” he said then winked at Alfie as he pushed his door open.

“What does that have to do with you slapping my hand away all the way home?” He asked as he got out and Church laughed as he walked around the front of the truck.

“I don’t trust myself to drive safely while you’re touching me,” he lied and Alfie opened his mouth to call him a liar but he stopped caring.

“You have a motorcycle?” He asked as he pointed at the other side of the garage and Church nodded as he pushed his keys into his pocket.

“I have a motorcycle,” he agreed absently, as if he didn’t understand the significance. Alfie hurried around the truck and pushed against his chest.

“Wait,” he ordered and Church’s brows fell as he looked down at Alfie. “Do you have boots and a helmet too?” He asked and Church’s lips pulled tight.

“Yes. You need those things if you’re going to ride a motorcycle,” he said slowly and Alfie’s hand dragged down his face.

“You’re a Tom of Finland print and you can’t even see it. I’m dying,” he whimpered.

“Do you think so?” Church asked as he glanced at the bike and Alfie gave him a flat look as he pulled a condom out of his coat pocket.

“I was hoping you’d fuck me somewhere between the restaurant and the house tonight but this is much better than what I was envisioning,” he said as he backed Church toward the motorcycle.

“We’d be more comfortable in the bedroom,” he argued and Alfie smirked as he reached into his trouser pocket and revealed a packet of lube.

“I think we’ll be all right,” he said and Church was still for a moment before he nodded.

“Tom of Finland?” He asked and Alfie waved the condom at him.

“We can save the boots and the rest of the gear for next time,” he said and Church’s gaze became heavy as he loosened his tie.

“I’m starting to worry that you’re just using me for my body,” he complained then ripped the front of his shirt open and Alfie bit his lip as pressure and heat flooded his groin.

“To be fair, I didn’t know you’d fuck this good,” he said and Church leaned against the side of the bike.

“Do you know anything about motorcycles?”

“Not at all but tell me about this like I do,” Alfie said as he gestured impatiently and Church’s head snapped back as he laughed.

“I’m so in love with you, Alfie,” he said as he hauled him into his arms. Alfie’s jaw fell and his eyes burned as he began to float. His heart swelled until it felt like it was too big for his chest and his lip trembled. “Are you ok?” Church asked as his hand cradled his jaw and Alfie nodded.

“I’m great and I’m definitely in love with you but you’re kind of ruining the moment,” he scolded shakily and Church pretended to be sorry as he set Alfie away from him. He stood and turned so he could swing his leg over the seat and Alfie stuck the condom between his teeth and stripped off his coat frantically. It was suddenly way too hot as the motorcycle sank as Church sat and extended his legs.

“This is a custom springer softail with a twin carb 88,” he said as he stroked his erection through his pants and positioned it so it stretched along his thigh. It was gloriously large and perfectly obvious in his grey trousers. Alfie was in heaven.

“I bet it’s really loud,” he muttered as he stumbled forward and Church’s hand snaked around Alfie’s head and twisted in his hair.

“Let’s see,” Church said as he pulled him close. He was demanding and ruthless, his lips and stubble crushed and burned Alfie’s lips as he kissed him wildly. Church gave Alfie a moment to gasp for breath then tightened his grip in his hair and forced him to his knees. Alfie went boneless and delirious joy swirled through him as his face was crushed against Church’s hard-on. He panted and lapped at the fabric as he smeared his mouth and nose all over his bulge. Church swore encouragingly as his hands locked around Alfie’s head and his hips bucked steadily. “Get up here,” Church ordered as he pulled Alfie to his feet. He slid back on the bike and helped Alfie straddle the seat in front of him then dug his teeth into the side of his neck and sucked hard. His hands worked at Alfie’s belt and fly swiftly before he was pushed forward. “Don’t move,” Church said as one hand held Alfie down and the other dug into his pocket for his knife. He flicked the blade open and Alfie clenched his jaw as his nerves flared with giddy anticipation. He stifled a shiver as fabric ripped and cool air touched his ass. He was sweating. Goosebumps swept up Alfie’s back as the breeze hit his slick flesh.

“Fuck, this is so hot,” he whispered as his hands closed around the handlebars and his cheek pressed against cold metal. He felt Church shift behind him as he unzipped his fly and Alfie’s passage ached as his sack tightened. The condom wrapper ripped and Alfie shut his eyes as another chill slipped up his spine.

“You’re never going to respect me after this,” Church growled. His face pressed into Alfie’s hair and he inhaled deeply as his hand pushed into his pocket and found the lube…



It’s really good. Wait until you see the rest of it!

Tom Of Finland And Finally Motorcycle Sex!

GCBRE Episode 9: Jedi Tits, Stephanie Laurens And Rakes Galore, Hilaria Alexander And Dildo Demons!


Podcast Link:


Hello, Pervy Readers and Listeners!

Scott and Sarah saw The Last Jedi and they have thoughts about all the nipples. A beta reader saved our hero. Scott read Scandal’s Bride by Stephanie Laurens and he asks about all the rakes. Sarah’s unleashed demons all over the damn place, according to Scott.



Scandal’s Bride by Stephanie Laurens


This article about chicks summoning demons with their dildos:



The Reach Around!

Help us pick self-published authors to boost on the podcast! I don’t have as much time to read as I used to and I’d love to know who you love. Share your favorite author or book in the comments below and we’ll pick one to focus on for next week’s podcast. Make sure you tell us what makes that author/book special for you!

This week we’re highlighting Hilaria Alexander. Sarah had a lovely time with Hilaria at OKC’s 2017 Pride Festival and thought she was incredibly lovely and encourages you to check out her books. Please take a look and let us know how much you love her!


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Hilaria Alexander’s Amazon Author Page:


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Hilaria Alexander’s Author Webpage:


Please ask questions!

Ask us anything! We’ll do our best to answer your questions on the next podcast. Leave them in the comments below!


Aren’t we adorable? Jump below and leave your questions, comments and Reach-Around suggestions. Then, join us next week for more ROMANCE and awkwardness.


Also! Please Visit K. Sterling’s Amazon Author Page For All Of Sarah’s Titles:

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Podcast music created by Theo Smith.

For inquiries, please email

GCBRE Episode 9: Jedi Tits, Stephanie Laurens And Rakes Galore, Hilaria Alexander And Dildo Demons!

9k Words Into Alfie And Church. Looks Like We’re Laughing And Crying Through This One, Perverts.

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As you can see from the word count, we’re still in the early stages of book #34 (whaaaat?) but I’ve made a decent start since I sat down and got serious yesterday morning. Warning: the theme of this book appears to be sad sighs and giggles. You’ve been amazingly supportive and lovely since Exposed was released so I wanted to give you a glimpse of Alfie and Church. This is the roughest of drafts and most of this could change before we’re through but I love how this feels already and I think you will too.

Meet Alfie and Church:


“I should have called first. Is Alfie mad at me?” Church asked as Nora pointed at the cabinets over the washer.

“Alfie never gets mad. But you can tell you’re in trouble if he gets really screechy,” she said. “Like the time we accidentally sprayed the neighbor’s cat with the hose.”

“Accidentally?” He asked dubiously and she raised a shoulder.

“He was fighting with our squirrel,” she said.

“You have a squirrel?”

“He’s not ours, technically. He lives in the tree in our yard and Alfie puts out extra birdseed for him,” she explained. “We didn’t want to hurt Chester. We were just trying to help Rocky.”

“You named the squirrel Rocky?” He asked as he rested his hip against the washer and she shook her head.

“Alfie named her,” she said and Church nodded appreciatively then tilted his head as he raised a brow.

“Why did you leave your blanket yesterday?” He asked and she held up her hands innocently.

“It was an accident,” she lied and he pulled a face.

“It was not. Were you doing it to give Alfie a hard time?” He accused and her jaw fell.

“I wouldn’t do that!” She insisted as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Then why did you do it?” He asked and pulled his lips in to keep from laughing as she glared up at him.

“You looked at Alfie kind of like Ariel looked at Eric and he looked like Eric when he was under Ursula’s spell,” she said and he needed the washer for support.

“No, I didn’t!” He cried then ducked as he looked toward the kitchen.

“You did. Why is your name Church?” She asked and he spluttered for a moment as he tried to recall why.

“Ummm… I was a soldier and you’re not allowed to have a first name when you’re in the Army,” he said and she nodded slowly.

“I like Church. You’re kind of like a priest,” she decided and he recoiled in horror and guilt. He’d had some very impure thoughts after Alfie answered the door. He was obviously surprised to see Church, it made him looked dazed and thoroughly fucked with his wild hair and worn out t-shirt. Church wanted to sift his fingers though his hair as he nibbled and sucked on his lips. Alfie had perfect lips. They looked soft and he was always licking or chewing on them nervously.

“I’m nothing at all like a priest,” Church promised.

“Not like an old man priest,” Nora giggled. “Like a really cool one in a comic book who kills robots!” She said and Church thought that sounded pretty cool. “Why aren’t you allowed to have a name if you’re in the Army?” She asked and he snorted.

“Because most of us are named Jack and it would be hard to keep track of who’s in trouble.”

“We have three Amanda’s in my class and it’s even more confusing because there’s two Amanda J.s,” she said. “One of the Amandas is my best friend. The other two are really mean,” Nora added and Church frowned as he opened the cabinet and found stacks of neatly folded but faded and bleach stained towels.

“Why are they mean?” He asked and she sighed.

“Because my parents died and because of Alfie.”

“Kids can be such monsters. Why are they mean about Alfie?” He asked and her lip trembled. Church kind of wanted things to burn as her eyes shimmered.

“Because he likes boys instead of girls,” she whispered and Church fixed his hands when he realized they’d curled into fists. “One of the Amandas dads told her Alfie should go to jail and that he’s probably going to hell,” she said shakily.

“You know that’s not true, right?” Church asked as he tugged at her ponytail tail and she nodded.

“I know. I got in trouble because I told Amanda she could go to hell and her dad’s just bitter because he’s got a really ugly daughter,” she said and Church might have scared her, he laughed so loud and so hard.

“That’s perfect. Right there,” he said as he held out his palm so she could slap it. “She sounds hideous.”

“No one’s ever going to love her except her parents,” Nora predicted.

“I’m sorry she said that to you,” he said and she shrugged.

“I’m mostly sorry for Alfie. He tried to move away be happy but he had to come back for us. Kids were really mean and he wanted to grow up and go someplace where they’d be nice to him,” she said Church groaned. He probably grew up with most of Nora’s classmate’s parents.

“I think Alfie’s really happy and I know he’s proud of you for being super smart and brave,” Church said and she smiled.

“He didn’t get mad at me for calling Amanda J. ugly. He said I’m always going to be prettier and smarter than her and one day, I’m going to be something amazing and she’ll be a sad loser like her dad. Alfie said I can be anything I want.” She held out her arms so Church could hand her a small stack of towels.

“He’s absolutely right. What do you think you’ll decide to do?” He asked as he grabbed the rest of the towels and shut the cabinet.

“I’m going to be a wizard who kills robots,” she said and Church wished he had a hand free so he could scratch his head.

“You really don’t like robots.”

“Alfie says they’re going to take over the world.”

“Probably,” Church murmured then looked at the door as Alfie’s head poked into the garage.

“Is everything ok? You’ve been gone for a few minutes and I was afraid Nora was burying you in the yard,” he said and Nora rolled her eyes and made a weary sound.

“I need a lot more than five minutes. Look at how big he is.”

9k Words Into Alfie And Church. Looks Like We’re Laughing And Crying Through This One, Perverts.

Very Dirty Excerpt: The DISCO TITS Chapter.


Hello, Perverts,

Every book has a chapter or scene that ends up being my favorite. In The Jock’s Trap it was the “Batman Sex” chapter and the rimming scene from Hide And Keep will always have a special place in my heart. This chapter from Exposed has made an impression on some of my readers, it seems. I’m not sure why…



“I really wish they wouldn’t,” Ollie muttered as he tossed the magazine on the coffee table.

“You just can’t be pleased,” Wes teased under his breath as he turned a page and Ollie rolled his eyes as he fell back against the arm of the couch.

“It’s fine if they want to make a big deal about the clothes,” he said then pretended to be concerned with one of the toggles on his kimono and waited for his lips to stop twitching.

“You love that they make a big deal about the clothes,” Wes said as he made a note about a line.

“It’s fine,” Ollie repeated as he raised a shoulder nonchalantly. “I just wish they would have gone with something other than Rise Of The King for the title of the piece,” he explained then reached and flipped the pages until he found the two page collage of most of his favorite ensembles. I’ll just leave it open, for the photos, he decided. Getting highlighted as a trendsetter and seeing photos of himself around LA, New York City and Toronto looking dapper as hell was a pleasant shock. It seemed the fashion media was far more forgiving toward the rich and awful and valued people based on their appearances. Ollie was in the wrong line of work. He would have been so much happier in fashion. “Why can’t they leave the rest of it out of it? It’s a fashion magazine and it’s about the clothes. The king thing just reminds everyone of who my grandfather was,” he complained and Wes winced.

“I don’t think anyone’s going to forget but I don’t think that’s the angle. It’s just an obvious direction to take. You’re only the ninth man to be featured on the cover, it’s a big deal. Men usually only appear in the ads in fashion magazines or as props for women,” he argued and Ollie bit his lip as he felt a tickle of glee.

“I’m just glad we don’t have to see my ass in print ever again,” he said as he sat up then crawled toward Wes. His face scrunched as he tried to decide if it was too early to snatch the script from his hands. Ollie pouted and regretted his promise to let Wes work as he lowered and rested his chin on his thigh. It didn’t make any sense for him to lounge around in his underwear unless he wanted Ollie’s face in the front of his boxer briefs. His other leg was pulled up, supporting his arm as he read and The Bulge was semi-alert but he could hear it whispering his name.

“You tweeted that you were going to hire snipers,” Wes reminded him as he flipped the kimono back, exposing Ollie’s ass. The backs of his fingers traced a cheek absently as he read and Ollie’s nerves wound tight as his patience evaporated. Wes’ hand came to rest around the curve of his ass and Ollie swore silently as he plotted. He couldn’t be too obvious, he didn’t want Wes to accuse him of being a distraction again. Or… He could distract the fuck out of Wes.

“I think I’ll go try something on,” Ollie said then offered a bored yawn as he pushed off the couch. He rose on his knees and stretched and arched as he purred drowsily while the kimono slid down his shoulders. He acted completely unaware of his hard-on or Wes’ eyes as they peeked around the script. Ollie stood and let the kimono trail behind him as he passed Wes, dragging his attention with him as he strolled into the bedroom.

Fans would not be disappointed to learn that America’s most wholesome hero was a gentle, generous and patient lover. His stamina and control were phenomenal and he focused all his energy and attention on making Ollie feel desired, loved and safe. He exhausted himself until Ollie was sated to his toes then wrapped him in his soothing warmth and strength. Ollie wasn’t in the mood for that at the moment. He knew exactly how to snap Wes’ patience and control.

His lips tilted into a calculating grin as he swept the kimono off and tossed it at the bed on his way to the bathroom. Wes’ clothes from the afternoon were on the floor and Ollie’s erection ached as he scooped a pair of boxer briefs from the pile. He pressed the crotch against his face and groaned as he inhaled. There was no way to put into words what the smell of Wes did to him. He squeezed the base of his shaft as it pulsed insistently then bent and stepped into Wes’ boxer briefs. He pulled them on and adjusted his hard-on in front of the mirror so it was obvious as possible then turned and checked his ass. It was rather adorable but Wes’ ass and thighs filled everything out better. Ollie shrugged and shivered with anticipation as he went to retrieve his phone from the bedroom. The last time he playfully tried on a pair of Wes’ boxer briefs he unleashed a beast. He ripped the ass out of them then pinned Ollie to the wall and fucked him so hard they had to cancel their appointments the next day. Neither could move and it was hard to make eye contact. For whatever reason, a pair of Wes’ used, basic white cotton underwear on Ollie was like waving a red flag at a bull. He suspected it was a combination of seeing Ollie in any kind of underwear and something primitive about it being his underwear. But he totally snapped and Ollie was in the mood for that. His body tightened and he enjoyed the anxious clenching in his ass as he synced his phone. He picked Disco Tits by Tove Lo, in case there was still any question as to what Ollie was after.

The distorted moan rippled through the bungalow and Wes’ eyes were huge and his jaw fell as he looked over the back of the couch. Ollie leaned against the door frame and bounced lazily in time with the beat as he stroked his erection through the thin white cotton. He rolled his hips, thrusting rhythmically against his palm and Wes dove over the back of the couch and tripped and stumbled as he rushed at Ollie. He tackled him and pushed him through the door then threw him on the bed. Ollie laughed into the duvet then hissed as Wes yanked the waist of the boxer briefs down his thighs. Wes’ fingers dug into Ollie’s ass cheeks and his skin stung as he held him open then spit on his hole.

“Yes! Please murder me!” He begged then screamed into the mattress and his fingers twisted in the kimono as burning pleasure and pressure filled his passage. Ollie’s eyes watered at the scorching friction in his ass and the sting sliding up his shaft as Wes drove deep. Nobody thought the spit was there for anything more than a courtesy or for inspiration but Ollie wasn’t worried. It wouldn’t take long for Wes to flood the basement. Wes’ hands locked around his waist like a vise as he bucked ruthlessly and pre-cum drooled from Ollie’s cock. All he could do was hold on to the bed and do his best to avoid swallowing his tongue, drowning in his own snot, tears and saliva or fainting as he sobbed euphorically. The raw flare gave way to lush heat as Wes pumped his hips and chanted Ollie’s name and an endless string of curse words. The brisk clap of Wes’ hips against his ass matched the pace of the music and Ollie’s eyes rolled as a wave of thick, heavy pleasure radiated from deep within his ass. The muscles in his legs quivered and his toes curled as pressure shot up his length and he howled as cum erupted from the head of his shaft.

“Fuuuuuuck! You’re so tight!” Wes gasped as his thrusts became jerky and his timing failed. Ollie squeezed the muscles gripping Wes’ cock and moaned as another tremor spilled through him. He grunted as Wes rose on the balls of his feet and angled his hips, driving even deeper. He crashed into Ollie mercilessly then roared as his head snapped back and his body jumped and convulsed. There was a burst of bright heat in his core and Ollie hummed dreamily into the saturated duvet beneath his face as Wes sighed his name and melted over him. “If all of California didn’t already know we were fucking, they definitely know now,” he huffed as his lips rubbed along the inside of Ollie’s neck before he sucked.

“Good. It’ll give them something else to talk about,” he said and Wes groaned as he eased himself out of Ollie then fell onto the bed next to him.

“Talk to Colin Trecker,” he said as he tangled his fingers with Ollie’s and pulled his hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Where the hell did that come from?” Ollie asked as he rolled toward him.

“I saw him last weekend. He wants to interview you and he asked me to plead his case,” he explained and Ollie snorted.

“Why would you waste your time?” He asked and Wes shushed him.

“You wanted people to take you seriously. He has and he’s apologized, I don’t know what more you can ask from him,” he said and Ollie opened his mouth to argue and Wes nipped his lip hard.

“Ow! You fuck!” Ollie complained and Wes chuckled.

“This is your chance to tell your story and show everyone who you really are. You can trust Trecker,” he said and Ollie stared at his lips as he considered. He was right about Trecker and Ollie knew Wes wouldn’t have suggested it if he didn’t think it was safe or a good move for his career or their relationship. He still hated Trecker but he didn’t hate the idea of finally setting some things straight.

“I’ll think about it.”



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Exposed by K. Sterling

Amazon link:

If you haven’t read Exposed, you definitely should.

Very Dirty Excerpt: The DISCO TITS Chapter.

GCBRE Episode 8: The TMI Episode, Way Too Many Poop Jokes, Lisa Kleypas, Sarah Gailey & Disco Tits


Podcast Link:


Hello, Pervy Readers and Listeners!

Things went a little off the rails. It WAS supposed to be the Christmas Episode but Sarah orders awful things. We talk about bad sex and Sarah Gailey gives us LIFE advice because she’s very wise. And Scott had a lovely week with Lisa Kleypas and reviews Christmas Eve At Friday Harbor. 



Christmas At Friday Harbor by Lisa Kleypas


Disco Tits!



No Reach Around!

Sarah had the most insane week. She was in such a rush to finish writing about Wes and Ollie and general running amokness, she didn’t give herself enough time to find an author for the Reach Around. Instead, she’s featuring one of her favorite authors and all around amazing human, Sarah Gailey. Go to Twitter and follow her NOW: @gaileyfrey.

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Check out Sarah Gailey’s webpage to find her books and stories!:


The Reach Around!

Help us pick self-published authors to boost on the podcast! I don’t have as much time to read as I used to and I’d love to know who you love. Share your favorite author or book in the comments below and we’ll pick one to focus on for next week’s podcast. Make sure you tell us what makes that author/book special for you!


Please ask questions!

Ask us anything! We’ll do our best to answer your questions on the next podcast. Leave them in the comments below!


Aren’t we adorable? Jump below and leave your questions, comments and Reach-Around suggestions. Then, join us next week for more ROMANCE and awkwardness.


Also! Please Visit K. Sterling’s Amazon Author Page For All Of Sarah’s Titles:

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Podcast music created by Theo Smith.

For inquiries, please email

GCBRE Episode 8: The TMI Episode, Way Too Many Poop Jokes, Lisa Kleypas, Sarah Gailey & Disco Tits